Pregnant Boozers

The office of the surgeon general released a statement in February of 2005 urging women who are pregnant or who may become pregnant to abstain from drinking anything that contains alcohol. Why it took them this long is beyond me.

I don't understand why I see so many frum women drinking while they're pregnant. They always say "Its only for kiddish..." or "Oh, its just a little, its not dangerous." or something to that effect. Where that legitimization came from, is also beyond me.

Drinking just a little is just as dangerous to an unborn child as drinking a 40 oz Heineken. But even if it were allowed, why would any woman even risk the chance of deforming her child in-utero? Thats like saying. "Oh, a little drop of cyanide might not kill me, why don't I just drink it anyway? its only a little." I'm pretty sure if lethally poisonous Japanese blowfish was kosher, these types of women would eat it during pregnancy too. Again, this ignorance is a product of neglect. The neglectful part, being an uninformed mom-to-be. These women don't do any reading on whats not okay to do when they're pregnant. They rely on Bubbe's story about how she rubbed a little mashke on her gums while she was pregnant to relieve nausea.

Pick up practically any book on pregnancy and you'll find a chapter on FASDs (Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders). Half the parenting mistakes these women make from conception til the chuppa could be avoided with just a little reading. Of course, as I mentioned in my post on uninformed pregnancy, they just write it off as something they don't need to concern themselves with or just ask mom who most likely drank when she was pregnant too.

By the way, this also applies to nursing mothers. Alcohol is directly transferred to the baby through breast milk, so unless Mom wants a drunk baby, she shouldn't drink until she stops nursing. There is a thing that some nursing women do called "Pump and Dump" which is basically disposing of the milk produced right after the drinking, but I wouldn't even consider that to be okay. If she dumped 98% of the boozed milk and even 2% got into the baby's system, that would still be bad. Again, why risk it?

No its not okay to drink while you're pregnant. Not even a little. The risk of abnormalities and or death is not worth it. It sounds crazy that some people actually need to be told this, but they do. If you ever see a pregnant woman drinking, stop her. If she resists, don't be polite. Make a scene. You'd be doing her unborn child a great favor.

Negligence starts earlier than you think

The first stages of being a neglectful parent is being uninformed...and that starts with uninformed pregnancy. Women (and their husbands) who basically leave the entire procedure of birthing their child to a gynecologist who really is interested in nothing more than to slice the woman open so he or she can bag that extra C-section cash. Yeah. They make more with a C-section. Now its not my place to knock medicated births, but it is a known fact that infants born through medicated births (i.e. epidural, etc.) come out eyes closed and practically stoned from the chemical crap flowing through their blood stream. Granted, I'm a guy. What do I know about the pain of childbirth? Well, I know this. The pain a woman goes through in recovery from medicated birth is ten times the pain a woman experiences in natural birth. Recovery time is longer for medicated birth and the mom doesn't have energy to take care of her baby.


There is a wealth of information on pregnancy and childbirth that many Jewish parents in the frum sector don't really care to look at. The understanding is "Ze doctor is smart and zey vil tell me ven to poosh." So many women just don't want to take their birth into their own hands, as if its information they are incapable of handling because it involves medicine. Maybe they don't look at it with their husbands because its mamish not appropriate for a man to look at a diagram of a woman's mokoym. In any case, its downright foolish not to know about this insanely stressful procedure you (or in a man's case, your wife) will go through.

I told this joke years ago and its sad but true.

Chassidishe woman waddles into the Maimonides triage. 
They ask her "Whaaat iiis yooour naame?"
She answers "Epidural."

Taking good care of your child starts with how they are born. Wouldn't you want to make sure your fragile little baby comes int this world in the best way possible? Nowadays doctors encourage the use of forceps and vacuums and all sorts of hellish instruments to remove babies from the womb. Birth is a natural process and it should be done naturally. To all those angry women who are again saying "You pigheaded fool! What could you possibly know about childbirth pain?!" To them I say, talk to a woman who has given birth naturally. Talk to a midwife. A doula. These people believe in the natural process of childbirth and how it should be conducted. I'm not into the whole hippie, granola crunching thing. I like my SUVs and red meat as much as the next gun toting maniac, but when it comes to childbirth, I believe its natural all the way. To all those expecting couples out there, try it. Its the first step to being a good parent. Your baby will thank you.

The truth is, I could rant on and on about this subject for days. Maybe I'll do a part two on this topic. In the meantime, here are some links to some info on the subject at hand for those who don't know where to look:

National Geographic - In the Womb
Laugh and Learn about Childbirth
Laugh and Learn about Newborn Baby Care
What to Expect when you're Expecting